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The Grace of Rejection

9/13/2013

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Photo courtesy testmasters.collegeadmissions.com

Rejection...no one wants to experience it, but it's a very real part of life. However there is another part of rejection, one that we , unfortunately must endure the pain of rejection to get to, and that is the grace that comes after rejection.

Grace is defined as a benefit or blessing received that is usually undeserved or extra, above and beyond what was initially asked for.

Thus grace is the experience of receiving more than what we *lost* through the rejection. sadly, many of us never enjoy the fruits of grace because we never stretch ourselves or reach for the highest heights where there is an actual possibility of rejection. We've grown soft in our fear of rejection. we play small, stay in our shell, and never risk embarrassment, vulnerability, judgment or even being seen, all in the name of avoiding rejection.

When we stay small, inhibited, and protected, we never learn our strengths or weaknesses. In our failure to approach a sought after lover, we miss out on the friendship that could develop. In our anxiety about leaving an unhealthy relationship, we miss out on the discovery of our well of resourcefulness that is uncovered as a single person. When we fail to attempt a lofty goal, we miss out on experiences; the very matter of life! Every new attempt involves learning, and if we never learn, we become stagnant. Our creativity suffers; our minds fail to flourish; possible connections are missed.

This then is the grace of rejection.

We learn a new set of skills.

We have a new set of experiences.

We learn about the nature of life.

We are equipped with a new set of questions to ask.

We learn to forge our own path.

With that, our only option is to keep going and growing, regardless of rejection. We live, learn, joyfully embrace the grace, and try again.

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The Importance of a Happy Face

8/16/2013

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When I need to teach a lesson, the Universe, in all of her infinite wisdom, promptly provides me with the experience, platform and opportunity.

I planned to make this week a personal self care week. This has been a regular part of my life for quite some time (years) and serves many purposes. Because I know myself, I've become an expert at caring for myself. For example, I do not react well to stress, therefore, I keep quiet time, engage in rituals, and use specific strategies like unplugging, to de-stress. I also know I'm an introvert, but most of my closest friends are gregarious, so, sometimes I have to take space and time for myself and Mother Nature, which could include lunch in the park or walking in the rain.

Long story short, this was a week I planned to take all to myself... Until my computer died... Then my car! I spent the week talking shop with my mechanic, researching parts requirements and checking specs on new computers.

Although it was not my goal or preferred set of activities for the week, I'm proud to say that I was able to maintain a level head, a positive attitude and repeat my lovely solution focused mantra - there is a solution for every problem - which helped me make it through the week sane and stress free.page1image204

I know for a fact that this was only possible due to a deep well of positive energy and positive thinking, because other people were more upset about my "problems" than I was! I worked hard to remain in a state of grace by saying "thank you" softly, loudly, publicly and privately until I got everything I needed and more.

Positivity is powerful, and coupled with gratitude, it becomes amazing!

How do you conjure positivity in your life?

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Moment of Clarity

6/23/2013

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Oftentimes when we look back at our past, we analyze events with rose colored glasses...we say "Oh, I'm glad xyz happened, or I don't regret xyz because it made me who I am today" 

But there is a wonderful gift available to us that is cultivated by awareness. Have you ever had a moment of clarity? Knowing in the exact moment, That something is or is not right, and also knowing what must be done to correct your behavior?

I've had these moments in a fleeting way on the past, but have learned more and more how important it is to listen to that internal guidance we know as intuition. The reality is that there is a definite and certain way to operate in clarity. For me, it is the process of meditation and monitored consumption. I meditate to clear my mind, and am incredibly conscientious about what I allow into it.

Being diligent helps me to hear important messages internally and externally. It allows messages you need to hear to come directly to you with no delay, blocks or confusion. The power of a clear mind is key in conjuring up your ideal life.

         How do YOU gain clarity ?

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Summer Contract

6/14/2013

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One of the first questions I asked was, "What are you conjuring up?" I came across a lovely answer from my sister, writer, Skyy Banks, in the form of her Summer Contract. Thinking it would be a great idea for the CW community, I immediately set out to create my own contract, and wanted to share with you. 
In light of Conjuring, the hottest season of the year, and Transparency, I present to you My Summer Contract! 


This summer, I commit to :


  1. Spending some SERIOUS time in the pool, not just dipping a toe in here and there, but a new bathing suit and swimming til my muscles are jelly!
  2. Completing Conjure Woman, so that my community has its go to guide for this new movement!
  3. Enjoying Yoga three times a week 
  4. Completing at least three chapters of my academic writing
  5. Creating my MastHerMind Group 
  6. Enjoying some PURE fun...going to the movies, seeing a play, catching some live music, shows and concerts and hearing some spoken word poetry
  7. Restructuring my Business (new programs coming VERY soon)  
  8. Reinstating my Fasting Practice
  9. Going to the Beach, laying out in the sun and absorbing the energy of Mama Ocean!!
  10. Continuing my education in Wealth Consciousness, reading, practicing and manifesting.


A nice little chunk of work for three months, but because I believe in conjuring and allowing, I've already begun to check off some of these tasks.  I can't wait to share the outcomes with you all. 
                               What will you include on YOUR summer contract?




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So You Had A Bad Day...

6/10/2013

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     I don't do bad days...For me, every day, is a good day. If I accomplish anything on my to do list, that's good! If things get crazy...well that's just not me, because that's not what I attract or intend, so I know something is out of whack. So this mid-Monday morning, when I realized that things were WAY out of whack, aside from wanting to hide out in Starbucks sipping a Caramel Macchiatto until things improved (or taking a nap and starting all over), I wanted to get to the bottom of the way I felt. 
      I pulled my self into a coaching session. What would I say to a person who told me "everything was terrible?" Because that's how I felt. I mean, nothing happened, I just genuinely felt like everything was terrible...and not the t.v. show/performance art/band either. I mean if things were terrible like that, I would have laughed! But seriously, this morning, I felt like C.R.A.P., Crazy, Ridiculous and Peeved!! 
     So...I let myself have it. I did. I took it, I said, ok, this sucks!! I was in the car alone, so I let go a whole vocabulary book full of crazy, inappropriate, profane, anger filled, blame centered bad day feelings, words and sentiments. In the end, I felt great! I laughed at myself, I laughed at the bad day, I laughed at the whole scenario, because by the time I made it home, parked and finished, my son appeared at my car window asking me something, which was quickly followed by "we're you free-styling mommy?" I looked like a deer caught in headlights and said..."ummm, no" Embarrassed is not sufficient to describe how I felt. I was left with nothing to do BUT laugh at myself.
     What I did come to learn during my self coaching session however, was quite significant. I've been doing a great deal of intense personal development work over the last several months, and I remember describing to a friend that it's like we have to flush out all of the negative experiences and thoughts of the past and flood our minds with this new level of programming. So what I really experienced was not necessarily a "bad day,"  but more of a purging of all that CRAP and crappy thinking from my past. I mean I was flushing out negative programming, thinking and processes, and well...the dirt had to go somewhere. Understanding that was a huge shift in the day for me. I realized that the day wasn't "bad" because it was still in progress, which meant I could still make an impact. It was actually a monumental day, because it was the day I released a lot of old mental junk, to allow my new mental gems to take root. 
All in all, this ended up being a great day! (after I took that nap)


                                  How do you conjure up solutions to your "bad" days?

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Getting Real !!!

6/8/2013

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PictureImage Source :http://brettworks.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/url.jpeg
Hello Lovely Ladies!! Recently I was challenged to get REAL about who I was, what I was doing, and the truths behind WHY I do what I do...How can I challenge my sisters to let go of their drama, baggage and fear, if I haven't let go of mine?! 
Normally, I'd argue that I was being absolutely REAL...I'd say "but, but, but, there's nothing FAKE about me!! There's nothing FAKE about my message! There's nothing fake about the Conjure Woman Movement!! The truth is however, that authenticity does not simply involve honesty, it also involves a little word I learned from a development friend of mine called "transparency" 


You see, authenticity is defined by Merriam Webster as,
                         
                                     "true to one's own personality, spirit, or character"


which means that I am not only going to be truthful with you about this work of conjuring up new lives, I'm also going to share MY progress with you as I continue on this journey. That portion is called transparency. On this journey, I'm encouraging you to engage not only in authenticity, but in transparency as well. Share what you're learning and doing with friends, bring someone along for the journey, and see what you can create. 


As for me, you can get ready for regular updates on what I'm reading, discussions of how to enact the changes you're conjuring up, and of course, celebrations of our successes. So now, as an act of transparency, I ask YOU to join me on this journey! 

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Blossoming Forth

3/21/2013

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Photo Credit: www.wikimedia.org
It's Spring!!!
     Nature is expressing itself in ALL its' glory. We're witnessing the rebirth of the Earth, from the animals to the flowers, ground to sky. We are surrounded by examples of how to awaken, move forward and truly bring forth our inner beauty, thanks to the effortlessness of Mother Nature. 
     One of the things we often struggle with is our own blossoming forth. As humans, we are so distracted by other humans and our poor relations with them, by the abundance of entertainment options, by habits that fail to lead us to our greatness, and by "life" in general, that we fail to grow into our greatness. 

How do we, as Conjure Women, work to create a life that is truly a reflection of our heart's desires? 


One cue we can take from Spring is the intense focus that nature uses to actualize itself. 

     Flowers don't worry about other flowers looking better than them, or having the same shade of pink, or yellow or purple as they have. Bears don't worry about if other animals sleep longer than they do.  The sun doesn't become insecure, anxious or nervous at the prospect of being "on stage" or shining longer. Each and every element of Spring simply shows up, and does its' Springy- Thing! 
    We can learn from nature about showing up, while at the same time, incorporating the necessary focus to attain our desired levels of success. This has been my lesson for the Spring Equinox, and I want to share it with you. FOCUS!! 
     My FOCUS has been whittled down to the most integral parts of my ultimate goals, and I'm happier than ever to devote my time to those four areas: Family/Personal, Career, Business and Finances. I devote every waking minute every day to these four areas and have learned to say NO to anything outside them. As you move forward, and conjure up the life you dream of, add some FOCUS to your toolkit, and watch how your dreams Blossom Forth! 


           * * * What are you focused on creating this season?* * * 





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What are you willing to let go of?

12/13/2012

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Photo Credit: CandleMagick.com
     Yesterday was 12/12/12...a supposedly magical day of the year. For me, the Conjure Woman, it was a day of well...weirdness, that was nevertheless magic because everything that did happen, could have been a lot worse, so grace was on my side. 
     The passing of this auspicious date just like the date itself is cause for reflection. As the year ends, and we are no longer enthralled with the multitudes of expectations heaped upon us by the date, we can begin to prepare for 2013. The passing of the three 12's allows us time to examine what else we no longer have a need for, to ask,  what we can release, and no longer use? 
     One thing that immediately came to me, specifically as the result of the passing of the three 12's was that I can no longer use FEAR. I experienced what was intended to be a fear inducing experience just prior to the three 12's that I was able to completely release and reject on today. 
     How, you may ask, does one release fear? For me, a particular fear was released when I recalled two statements I had been affirming for over a week. In the moment that I stood face to face with the fear, I remembered my affirmations and exhaled a sigh of GREAT relief and release. I realized, that since I had chosen to operate from a place of abundance, that whatever negative energy had been directed towards me would only be covered by the positive energy I both radiated and attracted.  it was truly a moment that I had to laugh at myself, and watch this unnecessary fear dissolve. 
     For me, standing in the face of fear, and realizing that I am greater than my fears, affirming that "Fear is just a feeling, it cannot hold me back" and remembering that "I can solve ANY of my problems" was just the dose of magic I needed to remain inspired and ready to move forward. 


                                    Did you experience any of the 12/12/12 magic? 
                                           What are YOU letting go of in 2012? 






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Radical Change

12/2/2012

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                                                    Radical  
rad·i·cal/ˈradikəl/
Adjective:(esp. of change or action) Relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough.

Noun: A person who advocates thorough or complete political or social reform.         
 Synonyms:  adjective.  fundamental - drastic
                     noun.  root - radix
Source: Google
 
rad·i·cal  [rad-i-kuh l]  
adjective 
1.of or going to the root or origin; fundamental: a radical difference.
2.thoroughgoing or extreme, especially as regards change from accepted or traditional forms: a radical change in the policy of a company.
3.favoring drastic political, economic, or social reforms: radical ideas; radical and anarchistic ideologues.
4.forming a basis or foundation.
5.existing inherently in a thing or person: radical defects of character.
Source: dictionary.reference.com
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Photo Credit : FineArtAmerica.com
     Picture it, Atlanta, 2012, i was in town for a conference on technology and education, and luxuriating in the hospitality of my sister friend and writer Skyy Banks. The idea came just as I was drifting off to sleep. I had recently determined to act instead of dream, so I flipped on the lamp, and began to jot down notes in my smartphone. I detailed the ideas for my book, looked up resources on how to write, and was fueled for the exciting adventure of creating Conjure Woman!  Fast forward three months, and I've  got a solid outline, great ideas, and even some motivation. But, no book. 

     I listened to business coaches, my favorite being the bad-ass firecracker Christina Dunbar, and got myself back on track. but as I began working, I realized I needed an even BIGGER vision. My book idea was great, and so is my business, Zenzile's Way, but I knew, that if I wanted Conjure Woman to be the awesome success its destined to be, I had to provide an example and a reality that would result in "raving fans."  I had to show that this idea, this concept, the woman who creates her awesome life is real, which is where this blog, and the Radical Change journey comes in. Join me as I use the next six weeks, from December 1, 2012 to January 15th, 2013 to not only finish 2012 strong, but to JUMPSTART 2013. 

     My goals are comprehensive, centering around health and wellness, abundance, creating more love and joy in my life and conditioning myself to do things I've never done to get to where I've not yet been.  I am absolutely committed to bringing other women with me on this journey, because we are going to have one helluva party come next year!  Stay tuned to Conjure Woman and join me on this journey of Radical Change.  

                                                
                                              What's YOUR Radical Change?



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Welcome to  the Conjure Woman Life

10/28/2012

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Welcome and thank you for joining the Conjure Woman journey. I'm so excited to begin the process of creating this book and sharing it with the world, I can't wait to share my process as well as the revelations and benefits we will all receive as a result of it.  I'm looking forward to hearing how the book and this blog helps you create the life you've always imagined. 
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    From the Author

    I believe in the power of women to create their own lives filled with peace, love and positivity. The divine nature of women is that of creator and conjurer in ancient ways. I seek to remind women of their power and guide them to its best use. 

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